Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Monthly Meal Planning: Four Easy Steps

Moment of Truth: I actually plan my menu weekly. That's just what works best for me. Also, I'm one of those weird people who actually likes to grocery shop. Might be because a couple times a month I can get my husband to stay home with the kiddos, and I can drink my latte and compare sales tags in peace. 

See, the thing with menu planning is you have to start with a plan for the planning. Otherwise, you might get overwhelmed. At least that's true for me.

Though I do plan out our menus week by week, I also have a Monthly Meal Planner that's just a running list of meals that might work for the upcoming month. I jot meal ideas down based on seasonal cycles for produce, our monthly calendar, and what's already hanging out in the kitchen. I also write down ideas for breakfasts and lunches so I can factor those into my plans.

I have a board full of delicious ideas on Pinterest but truthfully, I've made only a handful of those dishes. If I start there, I wind up with a menu that's based purely on cravings and good photography. Not a good idea for being strategic with my budget. 

1. Consult Your Cupboard
So, instead, when I meal plan I start with what I already have. A quick assessment of my pantry and freezer helps me know what is available to me immediately.  I keep an inventory of what's on hand using these printables from Getting It Together: A Home Management System that Works.  But I don't update these as often as I'd like, so often I just do a quick scan of the shelves and make notes of the meals I could make on the Monthly Meal Planning guide from the same set of printables. (And sometimes I'm out of ink in the printer, so I just write on a piece of paper, because, you know, whatever gets it done.) 

There have been times I have planned an entire week's menu based on what we already have in stock. Those are rare times, but great for when I want to channel the grocery budget into other areas.

2. Consult Your Calendar
When I sit down on the weekend to plan for the following week, I always look at my calendar. I need to know if my husband has an evening meeting or if I have a girls' night or if there's an evening that's not going to allow for a lot of food prep, so I can plan accordingly. This helps me choose which nights are best for crockpot meals, leftovers, just sandwiches, or everyone's favorite--a quick run through the Chic-Fil-A drive-through. When I make my initial list of monthly meal ideas, I always include dinners and breakfasts I know are easy prep and cleanup for those crazy nights that so dominate our busy lives.

3.  Consult Your Capacity
A home cooked meal is a labor of love and commitment. It is, even if it's just pancakes on paper plates because you have to make it and clean up after. Dishes are my absolute least favorite part of executing my meal plan. There have been times I've tossed it out the window and we've just gone out because I simply can't wash one more dish. So when I meal plan, I have to think about my capacity.  If I've got a fairly open week, I have a tendency to think that's when I'll make all those awesome (and time-consuming) recipes I've been pinning or marking in my favorite cookbooks (or this month's issue of Southern Living). But even if there's nothing but family dinner on our agenda in the evening, if I make a big meal from start to finish and the clean up, family night has turned into a kitchen all-nighter and I'm exhausted.  So if I plan for a meal, I know is going to take a little more effort and babysitting, I try to put it in between meals on the calendar that are simple and low-key.  Usually those meals are the most low-budget ones, too.

4. Consult Your Coupons
I used to start with the sales. Because sales and coupon matchups are how you save the most money right? Then I realized that my tendency was to come home with lots of snacks, cereal, and Hamburger Helper, none of which was going very far or keeping everyone from still being hungry. So I started meal planning first based on the sales for meat and produce. Chicken's on sale? Great, we will have four different versions of chicken casserole and one night of stir fry. So that wasn't working either. But once I moved consulting the sales to the last thing I do for menu planning, supper got a lot more interesting and I became a lot less stressed. These days, I only coupon for my staples like peanut butter or yogurt. We don't buy a lot of cereal because I make breakfast, but that's an easy item to pick up for a low price with a coupon match. I rely on different stores than just my one because I know I can almost always count on better meat deals at Quality Foods and better produce at the local markets or my CSA. Coupons used to rule my menu planning and grocery shopping, now they are just a tool that helps me stay on target with our budget.

So how do you menu plan? Do you use one of the services I hear are great? Do you just figure it out as you go? What tips do you have for me? Because I'm always looking for more creative ways to make dinner a less stressful part of our day.

Linking up with Works for Me Wednesdays.

Coming soon....The Ultimate Homemaking Bundle! So many ebooks, so little money. 

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

The Sweetest Moments of Forgiveness

My kids break the rules a lot. Whether it's one more episode of Netflix after they've been told to turn it off, or only brushing their teeth with water instead of toothpaste, or just plain going out of their way to aggravate one another, there's always someone doing something wrong.

It doesn't help that I'm not all that great an enforcer. Follow through has never been my strongest trait.

So sometimes there's a lot of yelling and a lot of crying and a lot of frustration. Sometimes there's me holding them to an unattainable standard that I haven't even really spelled out for them, so it's unfair to punish for something they didn't really get was wrong in the first place.

That's my middle child's favorite excuse.

"But you didn't say don't eat ice cream in the living room. You just said eat a snack!"

Well I didn't realize I had to remind you for the 1000th time that the living room isn't where we eat snacks! Sound familiar?

I tell you honestly, this journey through motherhood has taught me more about God's love than the twenty-four years prior I spent in a sanctuary. I get that love now without having it spelled out in a sermon--how His love is unconditional and passionate and fiery and jealous and merciful.  Because until I have walked through the fires of sleep deprivation and chore charts and please, please can someone pick up the crayons off the floor, I didn't get it.  I didn't get how much He must love me.

And how exasperated He deserves to be with me.

Because I keep trying to live and raise my kids and govern my life under the letter of the law. Rules are good, sure. Rules give parameters and guidelines and function to society and classrooms and homes. But following rules, checking off boxes, getting a sticker reward--that does nothing to forgive my soul for it's ugly tendencies toward sins like coveting or anger or pride.

As Easter approaches, I've been trying to really, truly grasp the weight and glory of the cross. I've been trying to see it through the film of my own life, to better understand this faith I hold to be true but sometimes cannot put into words. Then a pastor friend uttered these words at Friday's MOPS devotion:

We have to sit under the weight of God's curse before we can truly grasp the meaning of the cross.

And I thought about my kids. 

So often we put our children under the weight of law and of course, when that law is broken there are consequences. And if you're anything like me, you're doling out those consequences with a pretty short fuse and a whole lot of irritation.

But God's law doesn't work like that. Instead, with Him, we have to commit the sin before we know the sweetness of forgiveness.

We have to break in order to mend.

Once, I really, really lost it with my middle daughter. She had pushed me beyond my limits and I slammed out the door in a fury to cool off before I could deal with her anymore. I was mad, and I just knew, I was going to have to go back in there and issue a punishment fitting to her crime and also, explain again, that I was sorry I had gotten so angry. I was so tired of being the one to ask for and offer forgiveness that seemed to mean nothing to her.

But she came to me first. Out the door in a sobbing heap, she crawled into my lap, grasping at my neck and saying, "I'm sorry, mommy, I'm sorry."

And my anger just melted. I think that's what God does for us. His anger has just melted away because through Christ, we can come to Him, we can climb in His lap and beg forgiveness and He can give it wholly.

Until I sat under the weight of motherhood, under the weight of a love so great I would give my life for any of my children, I didn't really understand the depth of unconditional forgiveness. 

I didn't really grasp the meaning of the cross.

Now it is an extraordinary thing for one to give his life even for an upright man, though perhaps for a noble and lovable and generous benefactor someone might even dare to die. But God shows and clearly demonstrates His [own] love for us by the fact that while we were still sinners Christ [the Messiah, the Anointed One] died for us. 
Romans 5:7-8 (Amplified)

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Tips for Buying Locally Sourced Produce, Meat, and Dairy::Living Whole(ish) on a Budget

So when I introduced this series, I really didn't anticipate the response!  Thanks to all who are commenting and sharing.  Blogging is a lot more fun when there's community. If you haven't already, hop over here and like my facebook page.  I'll try to post regularly there and start up conversations where we can all share our favorite strategies. You can also follow me on twitter or instagram, and while you're doing that, may I recommend you follow the inspiration of today's post as well? We belong to a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) with Red Dust Ranch and you can find them tweeting, photographing, and planting cucumbers in rows that aren't straight right here.

Red Dust is run by my friends Chris and Heidi Hook and a few years ago Chris and I were subjected to school lunches and sassy seventh graders together when we taught at the same middle school.  Since then he's gone off to literal greener pastures and now works the farm as his family's sole source of income. I tell you this because that's my number one best tip for anyone looking to change or improve their family's grocery budget: 

Make friends with a local farmer (and join a CSA).

Seriously.  Chat with them at the farmer's markets, stop at the roadside stand, research the local farms in your area and attend one of their functions. Because if you really want to get a great deal on produce, meat, or dairy products, losing the middle man is the first step. At $20 a week (2014 pricing), our CSA is competitive with other farmers but still less than buying the same quantity of organic produce at the grocery store. Also, it's a set price. This helps me budget because I always know just how many dollars are coming out of that cash envelope. But the real beauty of this is, if Chris has an abundance of a crop, I get extra at no extra cost. You're charged by the share, not by the pound or the package like at a store. Plus, supporting a local farmer means your money is directly going back to him to support his family or business. It's a win-win for your budget and the local economy.

For information on joining the CSA with Red Dust Ranch, you can email me:

Shop around the block. 

We all get used to shopping our one store because we like it, it's familiar, we know where everything is located, there's a Starbucks inside...I know. Me too. I purposely patronize our local Ingles because I like the clerks, and it's a small town so there's lots of familiar faces. (FYI, when you teach someone how to diagram a sentence they will remember that when bagging your groceries.) Plus, the more you shop one store, the better you can get at anticipating their sales and markdowns. So it's a good thing.

BUT if you make it a habit to notice another store that might have better pricing on something you buy all the time, maybe it's worth the extra stop to go there too? On my way home from Ingles, I pass a little produce market that's locally owned and does carry some locally sourced produce, meat, and dairy products. A while back a friend let me in on a secret: it's the cheapest place around to buy eggs.  A flat of two and a half dozen eggs was $3.99 until last week.  Now it's $4.49 which the owner tells me is because their supplier (a local chicken farmer) went up on his price. But, she also assures me it will come back down after Easter. I hope so, but even if it doesn't, once supermarket eggs return to their normal pricing after the Easter sales, it's still cheaper for me to pick up my eggs here. (Just so you know, I'm not buying free range eggs.  I would like to, but that's not in our budget. I'm just happy they're local.)

When the CSA is not in season, I pick up a lot of produce at this little market as well. My kids love carrots. They get them out of the fridge and start gnawing like horses, eating the peeling and all.  They've eaten a 5 pound bag of carrots in a week before, so now I buy my carrots here. It's $3.39 for a 5lb bag. That same bag is $4.99 at Ingles. They and another farmer's market a few more miles from us were my primary sources for apples all fall and winter as well.  Not only were their prices half of the grocery store, the apples they were selling were from local orchards. 

Don't be so picky about availability.

We all know that living in America means you can have what you want, when you want it. But if you change your mindset and concentrate on what's in season, you can save money and learn to withstand some of the entitlement complex we all have. It's April, right now.  That means you're seeing lots of greens, salad mixes, broccoli, cabbages, and other cold hardy plants coming into harvest. If you focus your grocery budget on buying what's available a good price, instead of just what you want, you will save money with very little effort. For instance, I haven't bought grapes since fall. They're a summer fruit and I'm not paying $2.98/lb for something that will be $1.68/lb in the prime of its season.

If you shop farmer's markets, you can go early in the day for the best pick, or you can go late in the day for the best deals. Farmers don't want to pack up and carry back home what they brought to sell. So if you don't mind the less popular vegetables, you can often get some great deals.

Looking for the recipe to go with this picture I posted yesterday?
It's super easy and lends itself to whatever's in season.
Roasted vegetables and sausage.
Dice up whatever's in season or on sale (this is sweet potatoes, carrots, and brussel sprouts) and spread in an even layer on a roasting pan drizzled with olive oil. Top with diced sausage. I like smoked turkey links. Salt and pepper to taste. Roast at 425 degrees for 30 minutes or until vegetables are done.
Get your own cow or pig. For the freezer, that is. 

If you have the freezer space and the upfront cash, you can buy meat in bulk from local farmers for a set price per pound.  We did this a couple of years ago and bought a quarter of a cow from a farmer in Clayton (about 30 minutes north of us). It came butchered and packaged and we received a variety of cuts: roasts, steaks, ground beef, and stew bones. It came out to about $2.75/lb which is more than I like to pay for the cheaper cuts but way less than I've ever paid for a steak. Plus, it stocked my freezer for six months which made meal planning so much easier. 

If you can't do this, I would suggest doing what I do now. Figure out the store with the best deals on meat and buy it there even if it's not your favorite place to buy your other groceries.  I like to get meat and dairy products at Quality Foods, which is not the nicest looking grocery store in our area simply because it's not shiny and new. But their prices are great, and Morning Fresh, their store brand of dairy products, is actually produced just a few miles away from us in North Carolina, which is way more local than Great Value. I'm not positive, but I believe some of their meat is fairly local as well.

Finally, know this. You can't change all at once. Choose one thing that you really want to focus on and start there. For us, it's been locally sourced items, specifically produce. I chose this because I knew I wasn't feeding my kids nearly as many fruits and vegetables as I wanted to and I was blaming the high prices on fresh produce for that. But when I read Simply In Season (World Community Cookbook), it changed my outlook on availability and local sources and made me really want to see this as our lifestyle change. It helps, too, that Joshua loves to garden and he's on this bandwagon with me. After all, you can't get more local or frugal than the tomatoes grown on your own back porch.

Living Whole(ish) on a a Budget Series
April 9:: Tips for Buying Locally Sourced Produce, Meat, and Dairy
April 16:: Monthly Meal Planning (Week by Week)
April 23:: Ten Things I'm Making Instead of Buying
April 30:: What WIC Taught Me about Groceries 

Linking up with Works for Me Wednesdays over at We Are That Family. Have you heard about Rhinestone Jesus: Saying Yes to God When Sparkly, Safe Faith Is No Longer Enough?

Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links that support my blogging and locally sourced habits. 

Monday, April 7, 2014

Living Whole(ish) on a Budget

It's no secret that we try to live pretty frugally around here.  I'd love to tell you we do it so we can be building retirement portfolios or sponsoring a half-dozen Compassion children or living debt free.

But the truth is, we live frugally because that's the only way we can pay all our bills, put food on the table, and save an emergency fund that gets drained at least once a year by non-emergencies like new tires, medical bills, or our anniversary getaway.

Slowly but surely we're chipping away at debt, and with a slightly bigger house on our future radar, we're trying to live simply but still enjoy God's blessings and the opportunity to love on other people. Usually, I use this blog as a writing outlet for my musings on motherhood and the antics of my crazy children but this has become such a big part of my journey in staying home, that I want to share it with you!

That and writing about doing something makes me feel really accountable to actually doing it. So for the next few weeks, I'm going to have a weekly series about how we're trying to live a healthy, balanced, whole(ish) foods diet on a grocery budget that's just under $300 a month.

That number comes from us following the Crown Financial plan for financial freedom,  Your Money Map: A Proven 7-Step Guide to True Financial Freedom, (it's almost exactly the same as Dave Ramsey's The Total Money Makeover: Classic Edition: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness) and because we have figured out how to get what we need at that price point. Sometimes we go over. Rarely are we under. But for the most part, $300 a month feeds us pretty comfortably.  Of course you have to keep in mind that two of my children are still pretty little and unless they're in a growth spurt aren't eating the same as a teenager or an adult.

One way I've found that really works for me is to focus on local foods and stores. I know a lot of people coupon or price match, and if that works for you, great. But I've come off that bandwagon for the most part and have had greater success with my own version of a whole foods approach.  For me, what that means, is if I can make it from scratch, then I do that instead. My kitchen cabinets stay stocked with baking ingredients, rolled oats, dried fruit, and nuts. I buy more eggs but less meat, make breakfast almost every morning, and sometimes pack my kids leftovers for lunch. I've discovered a plethera of uses for lentils and Greek yogurt (though not together). I am a master at sneaking vegetables into meals and I ration cheese. But mostly, I seek out what's local and in season, because that's where I'm getting the best bang for my buck.

As spring settles in, I'm gearing up for a new season with our CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) and since I agreed to handle marketing for them, you're also going to be treated to lots of information on what we're learning and eating by having a share of a local farm delivered to our doorstep once a week. I'm planning to begin hosting a Wednesday linkup for us to share our favorite recipes using locally grown ingredients (local to you, not just to me) so that all summer long we can experience the glory of each other's summer bounty.

But before that happens, I'm going to offer you a seat at my kitchen table and share about the following topics:

April 9:: Tips for Buying Locally Sourced Produce, Meat, and Dairy
April 16:: Monthly Meal Planning (Week by Week)
April 23:: Ten Things I'm Making Instead of Buying
April 30:: What WIC Taught Me about Groceries 

I hope you'll join me on this journey and offer your own tips and resources along the way!

You can subscribe to this blog by entering your email address in the box in the upper right hand corner.

Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links that help support my writing habit. 

Friday, April 4, 2014

How I Became a Writer {Five MInute Friday}

When I look back at four years of blogging, I find that my best and rawest moments have come in five minute increments. Because like Lisa Jo says, sometimes writing time is stolen five minutes at a time. Linking up with the Five Minute Friday community right here and telling you why I'm surprised by motherhood and writing right over here. 



In a yellow cardboard box on the bottom of my bookshelf are the battered remnants of what made me become a writer. Their covers torn and worn from so many countless rereadings, I've boxed them away in their original packaging and bought new shiny gingham covers for my girls and we snuggle under a quilt and up against too many pillows and dive in.

Laura Ingalls and her pioneer family driving across a nation when it was still in the labor pains of birth. Those were the stories that made me want to find my story. Those were the tales that made me want to tell.

But I got lost. I got lost in criticism and thin-skin and rules and regulations and shoulds and shouldn'ts and I got so very, very scared that I had no stories worth telling. So I scribbled in a journal and on napkins and in the backs of notebooks and hid my secret until I felt ready to share.

I'm never going to feel ready to share. I'm never going to really feel like I deserve to be here, to write here, to be going here to learn and dive and swim in these waters that scare me to death with their beckoning call.

But I'm doing it anyway. Somewhere along the way, I got the courage just to put a little bit out there, just to chronicle some real life, just to write it down and choose to believe a few people might care.

You did. You do. You let me hand over my broken story while it was still breaking me and you received and loved and poured grace and encouragement back into me.

And I've become a writer.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Surprised by Motherhood {The Launch and the Giveaway and How I Stalk Lisa Jo Baker}

The first time I met Lisa Jo Baker she was totally cool about the fact that I was stalking her via twitter and the Dayspring booth at the MOPS convention.  This incredible woman who put my heart into words on her blog about motherhood and how it can break us into a million little pieces and then put us back together in the best possible way looked straight into my eyes, recognized my twitter handle and my Five Minute Friday presence, and hugged me like a long lost sister.

Then she told me she loved my earrings and in the most real way exclaimed that she thought she had the same ones from the dollar clearance at Kmart.

Because she may be my writing hero and have thousands of followers and a real live book on the shelves of stores today, but really, truly, Lisa Jo Baker is a budget-conscious mama who knows the power of a great pair of earrings no matter where they came from.

So just like that, she took me in and talked to me about motherhood and writing and the balance and waiting for God's timing and having a story that I'm not sure I'm ready to share and all the messy grace in between. We stood surrounded by waves of moms and people who I'm sure needed her time and attention, but she gave it all to me, and that's when I knew that the internet may sugar coat some things, but this woman? She was exactly who I imagined her to be because she doesn't write to make herself look good.

She writes to glorify Jesus and to pour out the love He's poured on her.


Surprised by Motherhood is her offering to mamas everywhere. She wrote the back story, the before story, the story of how she went from being a civil rights lawyer rescuing women from sex trafficking to a mom with three kids who believes "motherhood should come with a superhero cape."

She wrote a book for every mom at every stage.

To the mama with the screaming toddler in the checkout line at Target who just wants to get home and cry on her bathroom floor.

To the mama who has worn milk stains and vomit and possibly poop all day long because she packed extra clothes for the kids but forgot them for herself.

To the mama who has pried chubby arms from around her neck and put her crying child into the arms of another so she can bring home the daily bread.

To the mama who has wondered how she got here, surrounded by little people, in a world that seems foreign compared to her degree and high heels.

To the mama who makes the beds and sweeps the floors and churns the laundry every singe day on a constant cycle of rinse and repeat wondering if she's ever going to feel that magic she's read about.

To the mama who has navigated blindly into playdates and church visits and library storytime in an effort to meet someone else who just might understand.

To the mama who has never felt undone by her child but whose skin prickles when she thinks of her own mom.

To the mama who has flown cross country and cross ocean flights to bring babies home to the world that raised her.

To the mama who has had enough of feeling like she'll never be enough.

Reading Surprised by Motherhood was like having a friend bring me a chocolate milkshake and then offer to watch my kids so I could take a bath by myself in a tub that's not drowning in toys.

It was like hearing my own voice when I read, "There's no rage like the exhausted rage of motherhood" and just about every other line in the chapter titled "How to Fall in Like" as she discusses with frank honesty what it's really like to parent a child with a strong will and a fiery temper.

It was having someone finally understand that while we all know motherhood is so much better than we expect, we also choke down the reality that it's so much harder than we expect.

But here's the real beauty of Lisa Jo's offering back to those of us who sometimes wonder if it matters that we're just a mom---this offering came first from her knees when she realized that it didn't matter whether or not she mothered, it mattered that the great Creator of all that is good and perfect* loved her.

He loves you too. And if you struggle to believe that, I'd like to put a copy of this book in your hands today.

Then I'd like to have you over for chocolate cake and coffee and tell you a little more about my own story and how I'm learning after nearly ten years as a mother and twenty-five as His child, how to finally find comfort in the skin He knit for me.

And if you're not a mom or don't want to ever be a mom? Read it anyway, just for the sheer joy of seeing these words:
"But when we metabolize love, it can sustain us for years.  It feeds the parts of our hearts we didn't know were starving. This never-giving-up, always-chasing love that isn't afraid...this lavish love that loves us first."

You can get a copy of Surprised by Motherhood here or here or here.  You can read more about Lisa Jo here and you can read the first three chapters here. There's a linkup over here (scroll all the way down) where our launch team is posting all our reviews and lots of those bloggers are giving away books too.

It's a powerful thing when a community comes together to say we believe this is important. We believe this story is that.  We also believe it's important to give back a measure of what's been given to you, so that's why portions of the book sales also benefit Lisa Jo's South African home. 

You can read about how I've fallen in love with the world next door right here.

And my giveaway today?  It's going to be for one of my personal facebook readers.  So many of you are my real life mama friends who have walked this journey with me.  So leave a comment on my personal page where we do life together with silly pictures of our kids and our dogs and our piles of laundry, and I'll have the random tool pick one of you to get a copy by the end of the week.

So much love to my online community who writes raw on Fridays with Lisa Jo at the helm, and so much gratitude to my real life community who shows up with Chic-fil-a and donuts just when I need it most.

Motherhood surprised me. But you people who love me like Jesus through it all? You're a gift straight from the Father above.

Follow the movement on twitter and instagram with #surprisedbymotherhood .

*James 1:17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.

Linking up with Crystal over at Behind the Scenes as well.  Because we all need a glimpse into the reality that's on the edges of those photos.  My beautiful family pics? My friend Merideth takes them and that day was a hot mess.  That's the only picture of Gus where he's looking at the camera and wearing both shoes.

Thursday, March 27, 2014

The Sacred Hour

It's dark and in this unending winter we seem to be trapped by, it's always cold.  He preps the coffee pot before bed so it sputters and spits and finally fills the carafe with discount Folger's blend that I sweeten and spice and sip under a fleece blanket.

Sometimes I turn on that fake fire and let flames and drink and words warm me from the inside out.  There's Scripture and questions and prayers and me scratching the only pen I could find across crisp sheets of journal paper.  There's settling into this creaky old armchair that's about to lose its seat springs and reading the earliest morning news and whispering intercessory for the Malaysian flight and the Washington mud and the sorrow that our world seems to drown in sometimes.

There's blank documents on this computer that balances on my knees while the new eight year old curls into the corner of the couch because she likes to get up early and watch me write though she always falls back asleep and leaves me in my quiet.

There are pages that will never be written and scenes that cannot be edited and posts that are listed on a calendar that will fail because the baby boy has snuggled into the hollow under my chin and he's so wrapped around my heart that I indulge rocking this baby that my body says is likely the last but my soul knows is preparing me for something more.

It's my sacred hour.

That early hour when there's no press to return phone calls or emails or texts or plans.  That sliver of quiet that whispers shhhhhh, there's no place for dishes or laundry or worry here.  This is the time for creating and worshiping and bending knees.  This is the time for listening.

So I get up in the dark and wait for the muse that comes in ancient words and toddler cries. I fight the battle of no more sleep for me and just thirty more minutes for him. I stir another teaspoon of sugar into my coffee and push back the thoughts that nothing I'm doing really matters.  I know in mere moments my thoughts will run to chores and bills and homework and breakfast and playdates and the never ending battle with the laundry. It will be blessedly ordinary and seemingly insignificant.

But sometime already today, maybe only for seconds, I had a moment of sacred.

Quiet. Alone. Listening. Filling.

That will power me through.